To the People of FringeLand: I have returned!
By the grace of Almighty Zeus and Detla Airlines my forces stand again on Cincinnati soil – soil consecrated in the blood of CincyFringers everywhere. I have come, dedicated and committed to the task of destroying every vestige of enemy control over your daily lives, and of restoring, upon a foundation of indestructible strength, the liberties ofpeople kinda weird, like you.
The hour of your redemption is here. Your patriots have demonstrated an unswerving and resolute devotion to the principles of freedom that challenges the best that is written on the pages of CincyFringe history. Not to mention the cases of beer that you consume annually to the glee of Eric Vosmeier.
I now call upon your supreme effort that the enemy may know from the temper of an aroused and outraged people within that he has a force there to contend with no less violent than is the force committed from without. In other words, get off your asses, Damn the Man, and go and see a Fringe Show while there is still time!
Rally to me. Let the indomitable spirit of Hanke 1 and Hudy Delight lead on. As the lines of battle roll forward to bring you within the zone of Know Theatre operations, rise and Fringe!
For future generations of your sons and daughters, Fringe! In the name of your sacred dead, Fringe!
Let no heart be faint. Let every arm be steeled. Let the guidance of Divine T-Shirts sales point the way. Follow in CincyFringe’s name to the Holy Bar Series of righteous victory!
With Apologies to Dougie Mac